Everyone Homeschools Blog - Learning Styles

"I Want to be Blind."

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 23:11:00 -0400

Imagine this scene. Your child is chatting away about different topics when they declare that they want to be blind. Now, as a parent you know that there are people who are blind that are very capable and successful. Think Stevie Wonder, for example. Yet, you know they had to overcome challenges and learn in different ways. So, do you try to impart your wisdom to your child verbally? Are you the type of person who will have a discussion and check out books about Braille or Helen Keller? Will you go to a presentation about seeing eye dogs? This exact situation happened one day. Our daughter declared that she wanted to be blind. One would have to wonder what would cause this declaration and once I figured out that she was simply curious, I decided to seize the opportunity. While the previous mentioned methods of teaching about blindness work fine, I figured we had a great learning opportunity. As I recalled my many fun sociology experiments in college and our flexible homeschool schedule, I quickly made an administrative decision and replied, "I can arrange for you to be blind for the day." After our daughter got over being stunned she got excited about the prospect of this experiment. I think she figured she would not have to do anything all day! But what type of parent would I be if I didn't give her a realistic taste of being blind especially since blind people function in society daily. So, I got two eye patches, from when I had corneal scratches, and a eye mask for sleeping and promptly arranged them over her eyes. Then I gave her a stick and let her go. She was very fascinated with this experiment as she banged around the house trying to orient herself as to where everything was situated. Of course, the dogs were running for their lives. We talked about how blind people use their other senses more to assist them. So, for example, their hearing is more attuned. They often will feel things around them. They will ask for help or use a tool such as a stick for guidance or a guide dog and so on. She continued this for about 2 hours and then lunch came. I fixed lunch, gave her a plate and let her go. When she realized I was going to watch a little television she decided to join me. As she arranged herself on the couch, she decided that she would only be partially blind and wanted to remove the coverings on one eye. When I pointed out that blind people don't have the luxury of deciding to all of a sudden see, I could tell she was starting to wonder what she had gotten herself into. I explained that being blind is not something someone can turn on and off. So, I told her she would need to use her imagination and hearing skills to "watch" this show. She was bothered at this prospect but I stuck to it. I told her that after watching the show while being blind then she could decide if she wanted to continue with this experiment but not until she had watched the whole show. So, she ate her food and listened. She shared how hard it was to listen to a show and how she felt like she was missing parts of the show. We talked about how blind people deal with these challenges and how they overcome them. Once the show was over she promptly removed her patches and coverings and declared that she did not want to be blind. The experiment had clearly been a success. She learned about a different group of people and the struggles they face. She learned about compassion and how little she uses her other four senses. The lessons will stay with her for life because she did not just read about them or listen to a lecture, she actually lived them.

Public Speaking 101

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:02:00 -0400

Oh no, I can't speak in front of a group of people! What will they think of me? Will they laugh at me? Will they like what I say? What do you think of when you hear "public speaking"? Most people become nervous or frightened. In high school, I joined the Debate Team. It was an excellent opportunity for me to hone my debate skills, become comfortable in front of people, both unfriendly and friendly, and just in general learn that most folks don't bite. I have used my skills at various times in my life, everything from making announcements at a party to speaking before legislators at a public hearing and everything in between. As I mentioned in Don't You Want to be a HAM?, we are amateur radio operators. Our daughter is also a Brownie in the Girl Scouts. So, what would any self-respecting Mom do when she realized there was a HAM radio patch for Girl Scouts? You guessed it. I volunteered for US, yes that would be myself, my husband and our daughter, to teach the Brownies, Juniors, Cadettes and Seniors about Ham Radio so they could all earn this patch. Since our daughter got her HAM license she met all the requirements and had already received her patch. The requirements we were teaching are listed at Ham Radio Patch. We decided to divide up the requirements so that each of us would have an opportunity to present. Of course, half of a presentation is being prepared and the other half is staying calm. So, my husband and I helped our daughter prepare her presentation. Her speech was double spaced, listed what she would say, what was on the handout for the girls, and even included a quiz item. As the day approached, she practiced giving her presentation to each of us. Each time we would offer her compliments on things she did well and suggestions to make it even better. Since she was going to be teaching 25 girls, we had a discussion about how she needed to speak clearly, look up at the girls, pause when she asked a question, decide how many girls to call on for an answer and so on. Each time she practiced she improved. On the day of the presentation, we went to lunch and over lunch my husband and I each shared some final ideas. My husband pointed out that it was critical that she speak loudly otherwise the girls would not pay attention if they could not hear her. I encouraged her to smile and have fun. At age 9, our daughter did her first real public speaking gig. She did great! All the girls learned about ham radio, they earned their patch and our daughter got to experience not only teaching others and helping them learn but she experienced speaking in front of a group of people. Because there was no grade tied to the presentation she just focused on doing the best she could rather then worrying about a single person making an arbitrary grade. She read the audience appropriately, engaged them, encouraged them, and had fun. I'm looking forward to her giving more speeches in the future.

Why Homeschool? Reason 1-Portability

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 22:41:00 -0400

Most people think that homeschoolers homeschool only for religious reasons. What a misperception! My good friend has often explained to new homeschoolers that there are thousands of reasons, and she is not lying. So, in an effort to enlighten unofficial homeschoolers of the many reasons to homeschool, I decided to write a weekly on this topic. So, here we go. One reason to homeschool, and one of my favorites, is that homeschooling is portable! We do not have to stay in a classroom or at a desk all day. Some days my daughter does her reading assignment in her pajamas in her bedroom. Other days she does assignments at her desk or kitchen table. Still other days we get wild and crazy! You know what I mean. We do what professionals and college students do, we go to Barnes and Noble, get ourselves a treat, both a food item and drink, grab a table and get to work. Once she accomplishes her goals for her assignments then we find a magazine of interest and stay a little longer and just read. We have homeschooled in the car, see Prisoner Paddy Wagon Adventure, at a friends house, on vacation, at the library, at home, at a table, on a floor, on a bed, and in the backyard on a beautiful sunny spring day. We have homeschooled while visiting family, in a park, in a caf, at a museum and even on a plane going to visit family. We have even homeschooled at our office in a spare office. Because homeschooling is portable the possibilities are endless. Do you have a favorite spot in the world, your town or in your house? Maybe you have a favorite rock or bench in a park? Well, you can homeschool there! Try it!

Bargain Hunter

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 22:32:00 -0400

Over the Easter weekend, we decided to have calm family time and play some games. One of my old, old games is Bargain Hunter. The game came out in the 1980s just as credit cards were becoming increasingly popular. Does anyone remember the old bulky metal credit card imprint sliding machines? You know the ones where they would take your credit card place it in the machine put the carbon copy receipt on top and swish, swish and then the credit card number would be imprinted on the receipt for the charge. Well, this game has a plastic version of that machine. The idea with Bargain Hunter was the first person who bought all 17 or so items on a shopping list with no debt won. Of course there are typical expenses that sap your cash such as visits to the auto mechanic and doctor. As we played the game, our daughter was faced with a challenge of either waiting to buy an item or charging the item and paying 10% interest. Her immediate reaction was that she was going to charge the item but when we pointed out that for that $300 item she would have to pay $30 interest every time she passed payday, she reanalyzed her options. She said she thought interest could only be given for savings accounts. We had a homeschool teaching moment as we proceeded to explain how many people end up in serious debt because of the very high interest rates and that if you don't have the money to buy something then you probably shouldn't. My husband explained how there are only a couple times when borrowing money makes sense. One case when borrowing is justified is if you are buying a tangible appreciable asset such as a house or when you need cash flow to build a business. Of course, these examples also included lessons on borrowing only what you can afford and not just what someone says is ok for you to borrow. We talked about the folks who are in a bind now because they chose variable interest rate loans, what variable interest rates are and how to address this problem. Once she realized that interest could be charged for borrowed money and how it worked, a very bright bulb went off in (and over) her head. In the end, she won with all the items purchased, no debt and an economics lesson taught one-on-one.

Deeds, Documents and Town Hall

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 23:35:00 -0400

Part of the requirements to adopt from Ukraine is the judge wants to see proof that you have a residency. So, if you rent you need to show proof of a lease and if you own your home they want to see a notarized copy of the deed to your home. Enter another homeschool lesson. My daughter and I set out to our town clerk to obtain several copies of the deed to our home because we are hoping to adopt a sibling pair and need the copies for the dossiers. (And an extra copy should anyone lose a copy of the deed.) I expected that we would walk in to the town clerk's office, request the information, they would pull the book, copy it, notarize it and then we would pay and be done. What a surprise when the clerk told us to go to the vault and look it up ourselves. Huh? The look of dumbfoundedness on my face must have been pretty clear because the clerk then proceeded to explain the steps. I took a deep breath and realized I was going to experience this homeschool lesson first hand, side-by-side with my daughter. So, walked into the vault and found a locked area that contained all of our town's vital statistics, such as the births, deaths and marriages. As we looked in awe at books dated back to the 1800s, I could tell this was going to turn out to be a pretty cool experience. As most parents know, I could have completed the task in a record 10 minutes but realized that this would be a great hands-on learning opportunity for our daughter and quickly determined she needed to perform the task. (Did I mention I had no clue how to do this search?) We located a large book that listed all the home owners in town. Our daughter looked up our last name, first name and street and identified the book that our deed was located in. We then walked around the vault a couple times as we tried to orient ourselves with how the books were arranged. Once we figured out the order, our daughter quickly located the book volume that contained our deed and then found the pages of our deed. Wow! In a short period of time she had found the deed to our home and a new interest was seriously sparked. We proceeded to copy the deed, have it notarized and pay for the copies. Throughout this part of the process, she kept asking if we could go back in the vault. Through several questions she realized that we could go back and search our home's previous owners, see how much they had paid for it and so on. As our daughter asked questions, the clerks could overhear our conversation. Soon one of them offered some information on how to do title searches in the vault and I realized there was a serious field trip opportunity here. I learned that Town Clerk does field trips for the local kids to the vault and explains the clerk's job, the records and other interesting facts. So, what would any self-respecting mom, specifically a homeschool mom, do but realize that we need another field trip to the town clerk's office with some friends. Don't underestimate your local town resources. Children can learn about the history of their town and home. They can learn about economics and inflation as they identify home prices over the years, legal documents as they see how deeds are written and notarized, how to do research and of course, communication by asking for help from the clerks. This unplanned errand turned into a great educational experience.

"Will that be Smoking or Non-Smoking?"

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 16:00:00 -0400

While on vacation we decided to use our certificate for dinner at Foxwoods Casino that we had purchased after having the winning bid at a silent auction. Although I am not a gambler my husband and I do enjoy visiting the casinos once in a while for entertainment. So, we decided to enjoy this dinner as a family even though it was a casino. As we entered the Mashantucket Pequot Reservation, http://www.pequotmuseum.org/ we discussed the Indians. I pointed out to our daughter that while on the reservation which is where Foxwoods is located, that some of the rules that we have grown accustomed to may not apply. This did not make total sense to her. So, we explained how a reservation is almost like another country within our country. Granted they are not sovereign but they can do things differently. Upon entering Foxwoods, it became apparent very quickly. When we arrived at the restaurant we were asked whether we wanted a "smoking or non-smoking" table. Huh? Where we live smoking in restaurants has been banned for awhile. So, we asked for non-smoking and proceeded on. A couple days later we decided to visit Mohegan Sun located at the Mohegan Reservation http://www.mohegan.nsn.us/. Again, we went for food. This time it was a buffet certificate purchased in the same way as the Foxwoods one. After our lunch, we noticed they had a kids section of arcade games. We decided to visit the area to play some games. Unlike all other arcades I have ever seen, this one was very different. See you could not just put in a token and play a game. The way to play was to get a free card an put money on it. While this bugged me, we decided to go along with it and put a couple bucks on the card. Shortly thereafter I figured out why they use the card. The money disappeared very quickly. It turns out that each game is not 25 or 50 cents. Nooooo, one was 28 cents another was $1.03 and others were 73 cents. Huh? When I went back because I could not figure out why with an even amount on the card we had 23 cents left I learned that Mohegan Sun sets up their arcade VERY differently. We decided to add a couple bucks more. This time we ended up with .20 cents on the card and I took it to the cashier and asked for the money back. I was informed they don't refund the money. How incredibly convenient. So, I was suppose to carry a plastic card, that never expires, for 20 cents? Needless to say, I gave it to another kid there and left. As we walked, we talked about how off a reservation the business would have been forced to refund the money. In addition, the business would never have survived with such weird priced games. The only thing we could conclude was that it was a way for them to make more money. While we had discussed Indian Reservations and how they came to be, the reality of how they operate differently than the rest of the state and country became very evident in these real life situations. In the end, our daughter learned about why there were reservations, why these tribes decided to pursue their income from gambling, how tribe members get paid on the profits and how a group of people and their culture can survive. As we walked through the casino we saw different artifacts, sculptures, statues, and symbols from each tribe. We located the Tribal Commission and discussed what their role was in the casino. All-in-all I am pretty confident that I doubt our daughter would have experienced a social studies lesson like this in private or public school and we even got to eat while doing it!

"And the Winner Is...."

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 21:24:00 -0400

He's the winner, no she did better. The day after a political debate you will always hear the political pundits debating about who the winner of the debate is, but what does your kid think? We recently watched part of a congressional political debate. I explained the format for this formal way of arguing. As with any communication, there is much more than just the words involved. Appearance and body language, particularly in debates, are very important aspects. As we watched the debate I asked who was making a better impression. Why? Was it because of their clothes? Their tan? The way they held their hands? What made her feel more confident in that person? Then we talked about the questions. The debate we happened to watch was sponsored by a medical association. As a result all the questions involved medicine, malpractice insurance and doctors. As we watched we discussed why those were issues for that segment of the population. I asked why everything involved medical questions? What was a sponsor? As the candidates answered the questions we discussed their answers. One candidate kept talking about how wonderful the state legislature was while the other talked about congress. So, I posed the following questions. Why would someone vote for the candidate that keeps saying how great the legislature is doing when this is a congressional position? Would you vote for someone that did not understand the difference between congress and the state legislature? Would you vote for someone that kept praising another political area instead of talking about what they would do if elected? My goal through it all was for our daughter to analyze the debate, critically think about the answers, see how they looked at the future, how these candidates solved problems, the different aspects of communication and why it all matters. If more people did this you would not hear Monday morning quarterbacks three months later complaining about their newly elected representatives. As one of the greatest countries we have serious responsibilities to not just vote but to vote intelligently and teach our children to do the same.

Pencils, Pens, Markers, Crayons, Paper and Notebooks... Oh, My!

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 13:59:00 -0400

Alright, I have to make another admission. When I was in school I enjoyed checking out all the gadgets and cool notebooks, pens, and other school supplies for back-to-school season. Actually, when I was in college I left my husband-to-be dumbfounded because I would take notes on blue, yellow, pale green, pink and purple legal pads. Cool supplies kept things interesting for me. Even now, I always have plenty of pens on hand. In fact, I just cleaned out my purse from vacation and I found 15 pens, pencils and highlighters. You'd think I strapped one to every finger. When it comes to pens, I might be considered a pen connoisseur. I enjoy writing with the furry pens, the ones that light up, and the ones that write in gel. Our daughter has also begun training to be a pen connoisseur. She has received very unique pens, including one that was anti-gravity and one that could record messages. This summer when we cleaned out our homeschool room/library I found so many markers, crayons, pens, pencils, notebooks, rulers, and so on I now know that if our school district ever runs low we might be able to help them out. Just kidding! Anyway, what is my point? Homeschooled kids enjoy these types of supplies too! Granted they may not use them nearly as fast as is the case with our daughter's backpack which will probably last five years. Nonetheless, a backpack can be useful when traveling, visiting with friends or bringing something to do, as with our daughter, when she visits her Dad at work. They can be used for field trips or visits to the library. Our daughter always has a journal or notebook in hand. Either she is composing poetry, writing a story, or taking notes. For a period of time she counted cars while at another time license plates intrigued her. She liked writing license plate numbers down. Sometimes, when she is in spy mode, she will take notes of people she is watching. There are many, many uses for notebooks besides just taking notes. It is amazing what a child can come up with when given blank paper and a pen. Since most homeschoolers often fall into the eclectic style, which incorporates different educational styles, office supplies can be very useful. And office supply stores recognize homeschool parents as teachers. So, if you go to Staples, Office Depot, Office Max or any other office supply store be sure to ask about their teacher discount cards. We regularly use Staples which pays a teacher reward in the form of cash back, which we promptly spend at Staples on, surprise, office supplies. Depending on where you live and what your homeschool laws are for your state you may be asked to provide a certificate or simply a support group card as proof that you homeschool. Often during back-to-school shopping they may also have special teacher shopping days with gift bags. And let's face it, discounts are great but free is even better! So, the next time you see a neat notebook, colored gel pens or some cool paper check them out. See if your child might find them helpful and then consider making a purchase. After all, you are the teacher and you get to make your own supply list! Office Depot Star Teacher: http://www.odstarteacher.com/ Staples Teacher Rewards Program: https://www.staplesrewardcenter.com/SORC/UserManagment/Login/Login.asp/

Political Campaign Ads

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:56:00 -0400

Alright, if you're like most folks, by now you are getting tired of the mudslinging that you are witnessing courtesy of every politician that wants your vote in November. The next couple weeks will only get worse with the upcoming elections. But every time you hear a radio political campaign ad, or see one on television or in print do you just gloss over it? Do your eyes glaze and you start daydreaming you are in Bermuda? Do you wish it would all end sooner than later? Or, do you see this an awesome opportunity for homeschooling? If you are like me, you seize the opportunity for some good old political analysis. I know it sounds weird, but as a Political Science major I always find this time period fascinating. So, besides enjoying food, geography, history and cultures I also happen to enjoy politics. For some this might seem like the height of absurdity but politics is as much about life as any other subject. In fact, politics determines in many ways how you live your life since politics affects the laws that govern you. In addition, politics at its core is about people, compromises and communication. If you understand the U.S. Constitution, then you can analyze the campaign promises and discuss whether what they are promising is even feasible. When an ad attacks the incumbents voting record you could check out the voting record of the candidate. Perhaps there was some pork in the bill and that is why they voted against it. Heck, you can have great discussions with a child of any age. What is pork when it comes to legislation? Is it really a pig? What is a candidate? How do they become one? What is a party primary? Why is there a convention? What is a third party candidate? How does one become an incumbent? For younger children you could just point out the yard signs and analyze the colors. Which ones grab your attention more? Why? Do they tell you anything about the person running for office? As they get older you could have a discussion about what it means to be a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, Socialist and Communist. Give examples of where each party stands on issues they understand and that are age appropriate. For example, they will grasp topics such as the environment, local issues such as libraries, and whether they support the family. For older kids, you can ask them to read an article or two about the campaigns each day. Perhaps assign or recommend that they follow a particular campaign for about 6 weeks. Ask questions and see if they can figure out the answers. Kids are very resourceful. There are many ways political campaign ads can be incorporated into learning about government, politics, communication, advertising, writing, reading, critical thinking, analysis, statistics, debate skills, campaigning strategies, and much more. So, next time you see a political campaign ad don't tune out. Engage your child. Don't underestimate your child. They get more than you can imagine. And you will get something too. The opportunity to become a better informed voter while teaching your child.

Map Skills Maven

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 10:50:00 -0400

Living in an age of Global Positioning Systems (GPS) and the American Automobile Association (AAA) people rarely pull out maps, plan a route on their own and use a map to get to their destination. And now with unlimited calling for phones it is not uncommon to call your destination and get directions. Yet, knowing how to read a map and locate one's way in the world are not just skills that are useful but necessary. Let's face it, the last time I checked there was no GPS for the mall map. Just kidding! Our daughter enjoys learning about maps, geography and practicing her map skills. While she can always practice her skills with a workbook, what better way to utilize her map skills than to guide us to our vacation destination. Vacation, you say? Yes. Now, I do have to admit that allowing an eight year-old to map out a route, plan turn-by-turn directions and then navigate you will most likely take you longer. This requires patience on your part, guidance for your child and time. There is no doubt a GPS or AAA map could quickly guide you to a highway or at least the most direct route much more efficiently. Yet, how would this really help your child? So, it was with this attitude that my husband and I invited our daughter to determine what route we would use to get to our vacation destination. This homeschool lesson is definitely one that is wise to employ during vacation as it can take longer for both the planning and execution versus if you just drove to your destination. Our normal 1 hour trip took almost 2 hours and the route planning took an additional hour. After she highlighted which route we would take she wrote out turn-by-turn directions. She even estimated the number of miles it would take for us to arrive. As we jumped from one route to another we took in the colorful autumn scenery. She confidently directed my husband turn-by-turn, while she learned the difference between junction, highway, route and street signs. This real-world homeschool opportunity is not difficult but it is unique. Think about it. How many children do you know get to guide their parents anywhere? How many children get to use their map skills in real life? Not many. And yet, if they did, if children had a real reason to learn to read a map, wouldn't they? All-in-all our map skills maven did a great job. We arrived at our destination relaxed and ready for a vacation. She was able to modify her directions as needed and practiced her communication, math, writing and map reading skills. We discussed the importance of being able to read a map and stay focused when traveling so that you arrive where you want and not in Kalamazoo. And her reward, and ours, was not a check mark on her paper or a letter grade it was an actual vacation! Not bad, I have to say.

October Vacation?

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 22:47:00 -0400

Wait a minute, October vacation? Since when do families with school-age children get to take a vacation in October? Almost never. Vacation only occurs in December for the holidays, sometimes in February for winter vacation, around Easter for spring vacation and finally in the summer. So, how can a family easily go on vacation in October? Simple, when a family homeschools they have tremendous flexibility. Vacations don't have to be limited to major holidays and more real-world learning can take place since museums, geography, history and cultural differences can be explored. Our family just recently took advantage of this flexibility at the beginning of October. When most other families were having a regular work week, we decided to explore Rhode Island. And since it was off-season we got better rates. Our first day on vacation my husband managed to get a sunburn as we planned our vacation. Did I mention this is October? While there was definitely plenty of fun to be had, we also never stopped learning. Our daughter entertained herself by creating different poems and she got to practice her map skills when she acted as our navigator. We tested out our new amateur radio equipment, explored the area by doing some geocaches and checked out some historical homes. Through it all she continued to read daily. So, if you are one who enjoys vacations and tremendous flexibility but not the onslaught of tourists and seasonal high prices consider how well homeschooling could fit into your lifestyle.

"Can You Read This?"

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 14:06:00 -0400

When our daughter was learning to write, I figured one of the best ways to encourage her was to purchase some stationary and stamps of her selection. My thought was then she would have all the tools to write to her grandparents. This worked out better than I had intended. After she would write her letter, she would come to me for me to address the envelopes. I quickly saw this as another real world learning opportunity. So, I explained how to address the envelopes. Why they were addressed that way and what happened when mail was returned. I remember in school learning about how to address envelopes but we always just wrote down the answer on notebook paper or on a copy of an envelope but never on the real thing. Additionally, the feedback we received was very limited since the only person giving feedback was our teacher. So, with these experiences in hand I decided to approach this a bit differently. I drew lines on the envelopes of where everything went. (You can also purchase envelopes with lines or get stickers with lines on them and place them on the envelope to guide your child.) Then I provided her with the individual's address and encouraged her to write neatly. I explained that we would know if she wrote neatly if the postal worker could read her handwriting. If the postal worker could, then the letter would be allowed to be sent, if not then she would need to rewrite the envelope. Our daughter eagerly set out to address her envelope, stamp it and seal it. When we ran our errands that day we stopped at the post office, went in and waited our turn. When she approached the counter, she asked the postal worker, "Can you read this?" The postal worker seemed a bit confused and so I explained that she was learning about how to address a letter properly and she wanted to mail the letter. I further explained that our agreement was she could only mail the letter if the postal worker could read the addresses. The postal worker was great. He immediately took the letter, seriously looked at it, read it out loud and declared he could accept the letter to be mailed. Our daughter was so excited that she had succeeded in officially addressing and mailing her own letter. To this day, she takes great pride in addressing her envelopes. She understands the process of mailing a letter and the importance of writing clearly.

Terrible or Terrific Twos (Teens)?

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:02:00 -0400

Terrible or Terrific Twos (Teens)? If you have a two year-old, are they experiencing their terrible or terrific twos? If you don't have a two year-old take a moment and think back to this time. If you ask most parents or read anything about two year-olds everything seems to be negative. In fact you would think there is a special entity called the two year-old monster. But the question is this: Is the two year-old really terrible or is your approach to them terrible? Let's face it we have all had our perceived perfect days. Close your eyes and imagine your perfect day. You know the one I am talking about where you get everything done you set out to do. Nothing goes wrong, the weather is great and you even get a couple extra things accomplished that you had on your to do list for sometimes. Now close your eyes and imagine your worst day. Close your eyes and imagine everything going wrong. You know the type of day where everything is a crisis, nothing goes right, you get nothing done and even the weather is horrible. So, what is the difference between the two. While I would agree that some of it is outside of your control, such as the weather, much of it is within your control. The single factor that you have complete control over in each situation is your perception and thereby your approach. I'll share a story. A couple months prior to my husband and I marrying we purchased a house. We worked on it in preparation for our wedding and for us to live there. The day of our wedding, I had my bridesmaids there preparing. Our wedding flowers were in our basement because it was cooler there. As my sister showered, I went to get the flowers and found water coming out of a pipe into the basement. After I grabbed trash cans and buckets to catch the water, I ran up and told my sister she had to end her shower because water was coming out in the basement. She got out and I called my husband-to-be. During that time, the toilet got flushed and backed up, among other challenges that ensued that morning before even getting to the church. Needless to say, I had planned for a leisure bridal preparation that did not include mopping up toilet water like Cinderella. Yet, the funny thing is when I look back over my life, my wedding day is definitely one of my highlights. We pledged our love to each other, got married, enjoyed family and friends and had a terrific day together, even if the priest referenced our water challenges in her sermon. So, why wasn't my wedding day ruined? Why, because of my perception and approach to the challenges that cropped up on our wedding day. The same thing goes for two year-olds. If you keep saying in your mind that my child is in the terrible twos, you will not only speak it into existence but you will approach every interaction with your child as though it is a terrible experience. On the other hand, if you only use terrific, as my husband thankfully insisted we do with our daughter, to describe your two year-old then you will have a terrific experience. You will approach your interactions with a positive attitude which will allow you to recognize the good in each experience. With this approach you will realize that your child is not trying to be terrible but rather understand boundaries. They want to see if you are serious, and see if you really love them, since boundaries equal love to children. This doesn't mean that you need to yell or freak out to establish boundaries rather they just need calm consistency and a reminder of what the outcome will be should they make particular decisions. So, whether you have a two year-old, a teen or a spouse remember that your perception of them and the approach you employ to interact with them will determine how positive or negative your experience will be.

How Much Do I Get Back?

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 14:00:00 -0400

As a child I remember learning about money two ways. One was the formal way at school. We would sit at our desk, pull out our book and look at a page with pictures of the fronts and backs of coins and bills. Then we would do math problems with the pictures of the money for classwork or homework. Now, as a child I saw several problems with this method of learning about money. First, it was not realistic because all the money was flat as a pancake on the page. Second, I could not get a real sense of the size of the money because I literally could not get my fingers wrapped around the money. Third, I had no real world context in which I could use my skills. Fourth, let's be honest about this one, it wasn't my money so who really cared if I got the answer right? Thankfully, my mother had a creative way to teach money to me that made it very real, very fast. Whenever we would go to a store, while I was learning about money, she would pay a little bit more and get change. Then, while we were still in the store, she would put the coins in my hands and tell me that if I could figure out the exact amount of the change on the first try then I could keep it. Whoa! For a kid, that was one very cool deal. While I definitely grasp that schools might not be able to implement this idea this is definitely something that parents can do on their own. My mother succeeded in allowing me to use real money so that I could wrap my fingers around them and relate their size and texture to this subject. She gave me a real world context and she succeeded in making me care about getting the right answer. After all, we were now talking about what could be MY money. Some of you might not agree with this method so I encourage you to think back to when you were trying to learn a skill, maybe cooking. Remember how reading about cooking was never the same as once you got to practice what you read in the kitchen? Learning about money is no different. During that time period, I probably earned less than $10 but it cemented in my mind how to count money correctly and why it was an important lesson to learn. And frankly, it was fun!

"But...I Feel Uncomfortable Speaking to Them."

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:58:00 -0400

The recent Representative Foley scandal in Congress reminded me of the importance of a lesson that I was taught and passed on quite effectively to our daughter. If people were not blinded by one's title or position, then people would not tolerate unacceptable behavior and they would not be uncomfortable speaking their mind. Growing up as a military brat, I learned about different ranks. In the military ranks and officers versus non-commissioned officers was a class system unto itself. While I understood the different ranks, what was and was not allowed because of my father's rank and how they interacted, I never personalized his rank for myself. Many children I knew often "wore their fathers' rank", meaning they felt they were entitled to certain rights because of what rank their father was in the military. I, on the other hand, rarely mentioned my father's rank. After all, it was HIS rank not mine. This caused more than one argument with a so-called friend who felt they had the right to know my father's rank so they could know whether they could be my friend. This position of dealing with military ranks was endorsed by my parents. My mother had a saying that when my father came home, he left his rank at the door and was simply our father. And so it went as I grew up. Over the years, I am sure there are people who you have felt intimidated by, either because of their title, position in society or some other factor. While I sometimes recognized these differences, rarely did they affect me. Why? Because my mother had a saying that I still can hear echoed in my head. If I would mention a concern about speaking to someone she would quickly reply, "Don't worry, they all wipe their butts the same way." Let's just say it puts things quickly in perspective if you imagine everyone taking care of their restroom business the same way. In a succinct way she conveyed that we are all ultimately the same, human beings. No one is inherently better than another. It always amazes me how many people are afraid to speak up for their position or belief because they are afraid they will make someone else uncomfortable or make themselves uncomfortable should there be a confrontation. As a result, people do nothing. They let other people make decisions that will affect their lives. Sometimes they don't feel they are entitled to speak up while at other times they feel intimidated because of a person's title or status in society. After having our daughter I became very involved in legislative work. It involved much time and regular visits to both Congress and our State Capitol. On many occasions our daughter would accompany me, with her earliest legislative experience when she was less than 2 years old. One particular time stands out. I was scheduled to do a television interview and had to meet the crew at the capitol but because it was short notice, I had our daughter with me. I brought along a pack of her favorite animal crackers and a juice box as a treat and prayed that these treats would keep her occupied for several minutes while I did the interview. As I set up our daughter in a secure area with her cookies and juice box, she watched my interview. While I did the interview, unbeknownst to me a Representative came over and sat next to our daughter. The Representative apparently struck up a conversation with our daughter. It turned out that while I was doing my interview our daughter, who was about five, told the Representative her opinion on certain legislative matters, which she had overheard me discuss. The Representative was a bit taken back that she was being informed by a five year-old about what she should do legislatively but she did note that our daughter was quite pleasant and polite. While I never officially taught our daughter that "everyone wipes their butt the same way" she had learned that no one was above anyone else. Through my actions, she learned to speak up and have her voice heard, even if she was just five. She was not intimidated by the woman's position and she has continued to voice her opinions. So, the next time you contemplate whether to speak up or deal with someone that intimidates you, just close your eyes and imagine them going to the bathroom. After all, as my mother taught me, "They all wipe their butts the same way." Then take a deep breath and calmly, clearly speak your mind.