Imagine this scene. Your child is chatting away about different topics when they declare that they want to be blind. Now, as a parent you know that there are people who are blind that are very capable and successful. Think Stevie Wonder, for example. Yet, you know they had to overcome challenges and learn in different ways. So, do you try to impart your wisdom to your child verbally? Are you the type of person who will have a discussion and check out books about Braille or Helen Keller? Will you go to a presentation about seeing eye dogs?

This exact situation happened one day. Our daughter declared that she wanted to be blind. One would have to wonder what would cause this declaration and once I figured out that she was simply curious, I decided to seize the opportunity. While the previous mentioned methods of teaching about blindness work fine, I figured we had a great learning opportunity. As I recalled my many fun sociology experiments in college and our flexible homeschool schedule, I quickly made an administrative decision and replied, “I can arrange for you to be blind for the day.”

After our daughter got over being stunned she got excited about the prospect of this experiment. I think she figured she would not have to do anything all day! But what type of parent would I be if I didn’t give her a realistic taste of being blind especially since blind people function in society daily. So, I got two eye patches, from when I had corneal scratches, and a eye mask for sleeping and promptly arranged them over her eyes. Then I gave her a stick and let her go.

She was very fascinated with this experiment as she banged around the house trying to orient herself as to where everything was situated. Of course, the dogs were running for their lives. We talked about how blind people use their other senses more to assist them. So, for example, their hearing is more attuned. They often will feel things around them. They will ask for help or use a tool such as a stick for guidance or a guide dog and so on.

She continued this for about 2 hours and then lunch came. I fixed lunch, gave her a plate and let her go. When she realized I was going to watch a little television she decided to join me. As she arranged herself on the couch, she decided that she would only be partially blind and wanted to remove the coverings on one eye. When I pointed out that blind people don’t have the luxury of deciding to all of a sudden see, I could tell she was starting to wonder what she had gotten herself into.

I explained that being blind is not something someone can turn on and off. So, I told her she would need to use her imagination and hearing skills to “watch” this show. She was bothered at this prospect but I stuck to it. I told her that after watching the show while being blind then she could decide if she wanted to continue with this experiment but not until she had watched the whole show.

So, she ate her food and listened. She shared how hard it was to listen to a show and how she felt like she was missing parts of the show. We talked about how blind people deal with these challenges and how they overcome them.

Once the show was over she promptly removed her patches and coverings and declared that she did not want to be blind. The experiment had clearly been a success. She learned about a different group of people and the struggles they face. She learned about compassion and how little she uses her other four senses. The lessons will stay with her for life because she did not just read about them or listen to a lecture, she actually lived them.

Oh no, I can’t speak in front of a group of people! What will they think of me? Will they laugh at me? Will they like what I say? What do you think of when you hear “public speaking”?

Most people become nervous or frightened. In high school, I joined the Debate Team. It was an excellent opportunity for me to hone my debate skills, become comfortable in front of people, both unfriendly and friendly, and just in general learn that most folks don’t bite. I have used my skills at various times in my life, everything from making announcements at a party to speaking before legislators at a public hearing and everything in between.

As I mentioned in Don’t You Want to be a HAM?, we are amateur radio operators. Our daughter is also a Brownie in the Girl Scouts. So, what would any self-respecting Mom do when she realized there was a HAM radio patch for Girl Scouts? You guessed it. I volunteered for US, yes that would be myself, my husband and our daughter, to teach the Brownies, Juniors, Cadettes and Seniors about Ham Radio so they could all earn this patch. Since our daughter got her HAM license she met all the requirements and had already received her patch.

The requirements we were teaching are listed at Ham Radio Patch. We decided to divide up the requirements so that each of us would have an opportunity to present. Of course, half of a presentation is being prepared and the other half is staying calm. So, my husband and I helped our daughter prepare her presentation. Her speech was double spaced, listed what she would say, what was on the handout for the girls, and even included a quiz item.

As the day approached, she practiced giving her presentation to each of us. Each time we would offer her compliments on things she did well and suggestions to make it even better. Since she was going to be teaching 25 girls, we had a discussion about how she needed to speak clearly, look up at the girls, pause when she asked a question, decide how many girls to call on for an answer and so on.

Each time she practiced she improved. On the day of the presentation, we went to lunch and over lunch my husband and I each shared some final ideas. My husband pointed out that it was critical that she speak loudly otherwise the girls would not pay attention if they could not hear her. I encouraged her to smile and have fun.

At age 9, our daughter did her first real public speaking gig. She did great! All the girls learned about ham radio, they earned their patch and our daughter got to experience not only teaching others and helping them learn but she experienced speaking in front of a group of people. Because there was no grade tied to the presentation she just focused on doing the best she could rather then worrying about a single person making an arbitrary grade. She read the audience appropriately, engaged them, encouraged them, and had fun. I’m looking forward to her giving more speeches in the future.

No, I’m not talking about dressing up like a cooked pig. And I’m not talking about being the life of a party, as in hamming it up. I’m talking about Amateur Radio, of course!

HAM is another name for Amateur Radio operators and my husband has been a HAM since he was 11. Yup, you read that right. He has been encouraging me for years, even while we dated, to become a HAM too.

Amateur Radio is a form of communication that has been around for over 100 years. In order to use the radio bands dedicated to Amateur Radio you must take a test, pass it, and get a license from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). Amateur Radio is a hobby that can be used to help people in times of crisis and emergency, such as Hurricane Katrina. In fact, a local HAM where we live helped save some stranded people from Hurricane Katrina. She did this while in her home in the north AND while being blind. During Sept. 11 when all the cellphones became inoperable, HAMS were able to provide communications. Amateur Radio can also be used to pass messages, teach about the science of electronics, help in the community, prepare for emergencies, and for plain old talking.

Off and on for 10 years, I struggled with some of the aspects of electronics and, while I thought Amateur Radio was interesting, I figured in case of an emergency I had my husband to bail us out. BUT…when my husband decided to teach a HAM radio class, I realized this whole HAM thing was going to come to a head!

We decided that our daughter, at age 8, might be a little too young for his class and that he would teach her one-on-one. Soon, we heard of a fellow homeschooler in our group who got his Amateur Radio license when he was just 6! Yes, you read THAT correctly. I thought my husband was brilliant at age 11 but now I was staring at a 6 year-old each week that had his license. There is nothing like a 4’ reality check to make you realize that if a 6 year-old could get his license then either this whole licensing by the FCC could not possibly be that hard or I really was seriously electronically challenged.

And so my daughter and I became HAM radio students together. What an experience! My husband would teach something and I would harken back to my school days and insist that I needed to know and understand every single part of what he was explaining immediately, even if the explanation was in the coming paragraphs. Meanwhile, my daughter would patiently watch as I tried to get the concepts. After awhile my excessive questions become irritating to her because she wanted to move forward and not keep repeating the same things for my benefit.

Our local HAM radio club teaches a Technician class (a type of FCC Amateur Radio license which was our goal) and we decided it might be best for us to take this three-week class. So, we went and in between classes we studied. We made flash cards and my daughter and I would quiz each other.

For three weeks, I learned more about amps, ohms, currents, voltage, antennae, etc. than I ever cared to know in my life. I made my husband swear that if we got our license we would HAVE to use it and not just for emergencies. I figured if we used it for different HAM events, contests or public service activities then we wouldn’t lose what we learned.

Soon, the test day arrived. We came with our pencils and other required documents and took our test. Needless to say, we both passed our test and got our license. I’m KB1NQN and our daughter is KB1NQO, simply because of the order they graded our tests.

Within a couple days of our daughter getting her license she marched in the Memorial Day Parade with her Brownie troop. She took her HAM radio and checked in with us several times along the parade route. She enjoyed her independence and I enjoyed being able to check in on her all while relaxing along the parade route.

While this was a great opportunity to learn about electronics, it was a good learning experience for all of us. We worked together as a family to learn about a hobby that we could all participate in while becoming prepared should an emergency occur.

Since we got our licenses we have participated in many different activities. I would encourage you to get your HAM license. To learn more about Amateur Radio and clubs near you visit the American Amateur Radio Relay League at http:www.arrl.org/. Who knows when you might be in the middle of an emergency and you could be the one that makes a lifesaving contact?

Part of the requirements to adopt from Ukraine is the judge wants to see proof that you have a residency. So, if you rent you need to show proof of a lease and if you own your home they want to see a notarized copy of the deed to your home.

Enter another homeschool lesson. My daughter and I set out to our town clerk to obtain several copies of the deed to our home because we are hoping to adopt a sibling pair and need the copies for the dossiers. (And an extra copy should anyone lose a copy of the deed.)

I expected that we would walk in to the town clerk’s office, request the information, they would pull the book, copy it, notarize it and then we would pay and be done. What a surprise when the clerk told us to go to the vault and look it up ourselves. Huh?

The look of dumbfoundedness on my face must have been pretty clear because the clerk then proceeded to explain the steps. I took a deep breath and realized I was going to experience this homeschool lesson first hand, side-by-side with my daughter.

So, walked into the vault and found a locked area that contained all of our town’s vital statistics, such as the births, deaths and marriages. As we looked in awe at books dated back to the 1800s, I could tell this was going to turn out to be a pretty cool experience.

As most parents know, I could have completed the task in a record 10 minutes but realized that this would be a great hands-on learning opportunity for our daughter and quickly determined she needed to perform the task. (Did I mention I had no clue how to do this search?)

We located a large book that listed all the home owners in town. Our daughter looked up our last name, first name and street and identified the book that our deed was located in. We then walked around the vault a couple times as we tried to orient ourselves with how the books were arranged. Once we figured out the order, our daughter quickly located the book volume that contained our deed and then found the pages of our deed. Wow!

In a short period of time she had found the deed to our home and a new interest was seriously sparked. We proceeded to copy the deed, have it notarized and pay for the copies. Throughout this part of the process, she kept asking if we could go back in the vault. Through several questions she realized that we could go back and search our home’s previous owners, see how much they had paid for it and so on.

As our daughter asked questions, the clerks could overhear our conversation. Soon one of them offered some information on how to do title searches in the vault and I realized there was a serious field trip opportunity here. I learned that Town Clerk does field trips for the local kids to the vault and explains the clerk’s job, the records and other interesting facts. So, what would any self-respecting mom, specifically a homeschool mom, do but realize that we need another field trip to the town clerk’s office with some friends.

Don’t underestimate your local town resources. Children can learn about the history of their town and home. They can learn about economics and inflation as they identify home prices over the years, legal documents as they see how deeds are written and notarized, how to do research and of course, communication by asking for help from the clerks. This unplanned errand turned into a great educational experience.

He’s the winner, no she did better. The day after a political debate you will always hear the political pundits debating about who the winner of the debate is, but what does your kid think?

We recently watched part of a congressional political debate. I explained the format for this formal way of arguing. As with any communication, there is much more than just the words involved. Appearance and body language, particularly in debates, are very important aspects. As we watched the debate I asked who was making a better impression. Why? Was it because of their clothes? Their tan? The way they held their hands? What made her feel more confident in that person?

Then we talked about the questions. The debate we happened to watch was sponsored by a medical association. As a result all the questions involved medicine, malpractice insurance and doctors. As we watched we discussed why those were issues for that segment of the population. I asked why everything involved medical questions? What was a sponsor?

As the candidates answered the questions we discussed their answers. One candidate kept talking about how wonderful the state legislature was while the other talked about congress. So, I posed the following questions. Why would someone vote for the candidate that keeps saying how great the legislature is doing when this is a congressional position? Would you vote for someone that did not understand the difference between congress and the state legislature? Would you vote for someone that kept praising another political area instead of talking about what they would do if elected?

My goal through it all was for our daughter to analyze the debate, critically think about the answers, see how they looked at the future, how these candidates solved problems, the different aspects of communication and why it all matters. If more people did this you would not hear Monday morning quarterbacks three months later complaining about their newly elected representatives. As one of the greatest countries we have serious responsibilities to not just vote but to vote intelligently and teach our children to do the same.

Alright, if you’re like most folks, by now you are getting tired of the mudslinging that you are witnessing courtesy of every politician that wants your vote in November. The next couple weeks will only get worse with the upcoming elections. But every time you hear a radio political campaign ad, or see one on television or in print do you just gloss over it? Do your eyes glaze and you start daydreaming you are in Bermuda? Do you wish it would all end sooner than later? Or, do you see this an awesome opportunity for homeschooling?

If you are like me, you seize the opportunity for some good old political analysis. I know it sounds weird, but as a Political Science major I always find this time period fascinating. So, besides enjoying food, geography, history and cultures I also happen to enjoy politics. For some this might seem like the height of absurdity but politics is as much about life as any other subject. In fact, politics determines in many ways how you live your life since politics affects the laws that govern you. In addition, politics at its core is about people, compromises and communication.

If you understand the U.S. Constitution, then you can analyze the campaign promises and discuss whether what they are promising is even feasible. When an ad attacks the incumbents voting record you could check out the voting record of the candidate. Perhaps there was some pork in the bill and that is why they voted against it.

Heck, you can have great discussions with a child of any age. What is pork when it comes to legislation? Is it really a pig? What is a candidate? How do they become one? What is a party primary? Why is there a convention? What is a third party candidate? How does one become an incumbent?

For younger children you could just point out the yard signs and analyze the colors. Which ones grab your attention more? Why? Do they tell you anything about the person running for office?

As they get older you could have a discussion about what it means to be a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, Socialist and Communist. Give examples of where each party stands on issues they understand and that are age appropriate. For example, they will grasp topics such as the environment, local issues such as libraries, and whether they support the family.

For older kids, you can ask them to read an article or two about the campaigns each day. Perhaps assign or recommend that they follow a particular campaign for about 6 weeks. Ask questions and see if they can figure out the answers. Kids are very resourceful.

There are many ways political campaign ads can be incorporated into learning about government, politics, communication, advertising, writing, reading, critical thinking, analysis, statistics, debate skills, campaigning strategies, and much more.

So, next time you see a political campaign ad don’t tune out. Engage your child. Don’t underestimate your child. They get more than you can imagine. And you will get something too. The opportunity to become a better informed voter while teaching your child.

Living in an age of Global Positioning Systems (GPS) and the American Automobile Association (AAA) people rarely pull out maps, plan a route on their own and use a map to get to their destination. And now with unlimited calling for phones it is not uncommon to call your destination and get directions. Yet, knowing how to read a map and locate one’s way in the world are not just skills that are useful but necessary. Let’s face it, the last time I checked there was no GPS for the mall map. Just kidding!

Our daughter enjoys learning about maps, geography and practicing her map skills. While she can always practice her skills with a workbook, what better way to utilize her map skills than to guide us to our vacation destination. Vacation, you say? Yes. Now, I do have to admit that allowing an eight year-old to map out a route, plan turn-by-turn directions and then navigate you will most likely take you longer. This requires patience on your part, guidance for your child and time. There is no doubt a GPS or AAA map could quickly guide you to a highway or at least the most direct route much more efficiently. Yet, how would this really help your child?

So, it was with this attitude that my husband and I invited our daughter to determine what route we would use to get to our vacation destination. This homeschool lesson is definitely one that is wise to employ during vacation as it can take longer for both the planning and execution versus if you just drove to your destination. Our normal 1 ½ hour trip took almost 2 hours and the route planning took an additional ½ hour.

After she highlighted which route we would take she wrote out turn-by-turn directions. She even estimated the number of miles it would take for us to arrive. As we jumped from one route to another we took in the colorful autumn scenery. She confidently directed my husband turn-by-turn, while she learned the difference between junction, highway, route and street signs.

This real-world homeschool opportunity is not difficult but it is unique. Think about it. How many children do you know get to guide their parents anywhere? How many children get to use their map skills in real life? Not many. And yet, if they did, if children had a real reason to learn to read a map, wouldn’t they?

All-in-all our map skills maven did a great job. We arrived at our destination relaxed and ready for a vacation. She was able to modify her directions as needed and practiced her communication, math, writing and map reading skills. We discussed the importance of being able to read a map and stay focused when traveling so that you arrive where you want and not in Kalamazoo. And her reward, and ours, was not a check mark on her paper or a letter grade it was an actual vacation! Not bad, I have to say.

When our daughter was learning to write, I figured one of the best ways to encourage her was to purchase some stationary and stamps of her selection. My thought was then she would have all the tools to write to her grandparents. This worked out better than I had intended.

After she would write her letter, she would come to me for me to address the envelopes. I quickly saw this as another real world learning opportunity. So, I explained how to address the envelopes. Why they were addressed that way and what happened when mail was returned.

I remember in school learning about how to address envelopes but we always just wrote down the answer on notebook paper or on a copy of an envelope but never on the real thing. Additionally, the feedback we received was very limited since the only person giving feedback was our teacher.

So, with these experiences in hand I decided to approach this a bit differently. I drew lines on the envelopes of where everything went. (You can also purchase envelopes with lines or get stickers with lines on them and place them on the envelope to guide your child.) Then I provided her with the individual’s address and encouraged her to write neatly. I explained that we would know if she wrote neatly if the postal worker could read her handwriting. If the postal worker could, then the letter would be allowed to be sent, if not then she would need to rewrite the envelope.

Our daughter eagerly set out to address her envelope, stamp it and seal it. When we ran our errands that day we stopped at the post office, went in and waited our turn. When she approached the counter, she asked the postal worker, “Can you read this?” The postal worker seemed a bit confused and so I explained that she was learning about how to address a letter properly and she wanted to mail the letter. I further explained that our agreement was she could only mail the letter if the postal worker could read the addresses.

The postal worker was great. He immediately took the letter, seriously looked at it, read it out loud and declared he could accept the letter to be mailed. Our daughter was so excited that she had succeeded in officially addressing and mailing her own letter.

To this day, she takes great pride in addressing her envelopes. She understands the process of mailing a letter and the importance of writing clearly.

Terrible or Terrific Twos (Teens)?

If you have a two year-old, are they experiencing their terrible or terrific twos? If you don’t have a two year-old take a moment and think back to this time. If you ask most parents or read anything about two year-olds everything seems to be negative. In fact you would think there is a special entity called the two year-old monster. But the question is this: Is the two year-old really terrible or is your approach to them terrible?

Let’s face it we have all had our perceived perfect days. Close your eyes and imagine your perfect day. You know the one I am talking about where you get everything done you set out to do. Nothing goes wrong, the weather is great and you even get a couple extra things accomplished that you had on your to do list for sometimes.

Now close your eyes and imagine your worst day. Close your eyes and imagine everything going wrong. You know the type of day where everything is a crisis, nothing goes right, you get nothing done and even the weather is horrible.

So, what is the difference between the two. While I would agree that some of it is outside of your control, such as the weather, much of it is within your control. The single factor that you have complete control over in each situation is your perception and thereby your approach. I’ll share a story.

A couple months prior to my husband and I marrying we purchased a house. We worked on it in preparation for our wedding and for us to live there. The day of our wedding, I had my bridesmaids there preparing. Our wedding flowers were in our basement because it was cooler there. As my sister showered, I went to get the flowers and found water coming out of a pipe into the basement. After I grabbed trash cans and buckets to catch the water, I ran up and told my sister she had to end her shower because water was coming out in the basement. She got out and I called my husband-to-be. During that time, the toilet got flushed and backed up, among other challenges that ensued that morning before even getting to the church. Needless to say, I had planned for a leisure bridal preparation that did not include mopping up toilet water like Cinderella.

Yet, the funny thing is when I look back over my life, my wedding day is definitely one of my highlights. We pledged our love to each other, got married, enjoyed family and friends and had a terrific day together, even if the priest referenced our water challenges in her sermon. So, why wasn’t my wedding day ruined? Why, because of my perception and approach to the challenges that cropped up on our wedding day.

The same thing goes for two year-olds. If you keep saying in your mind that my child is in the terrible twos, you will not only speak it into existence but you will approach every interaction with your child as though it is a terrible experience. On the other hand, if you only use terrific, as my husband thankfully insisted we do with our daughter, to describe your two year-old then you will have a terrific experience. You will approach your interactions with a positive attitude which will allow you to recognize the good in each experience.

With this approach you will realize that your child is not trying to be terrible but rather understand boundaries. They want to see if you are serious, and see if you really love them, since boundaries equal love to children. This doesn’t mean that you need to yell or freak out to establish boundaries rather they just need calm consistency and a reminder of what the outcome will be should they make particular decisions.

So, whether you have a two year-old, a teen or a spouse remember that your perception of them and the approach you employ to interact with them will determine how positive or negative your experience will be.

The recent Representative Foley scandal in Congress reminded me of the importance of a lesson that I was taught and passed on quite effectively to our daughter. If people were not blinded by one’s title or position, then people would not tolerate unacceptable behavior and they would not be uncomfortable speaking their mind.

Growing up as a military brat, I learned about different ranks. In the military ranks and officers versus non-commissioned officers was a class system unto itself. While I understood the different ranks, what was and was not allowed because of my father’s rank and how they interacted, I never personalized his rank for myself.

Many children I knew often “wore their fathers’ rank”, meaning they felt they were entitled to certain rights because of what rank their father was in the military. I, on the other hand, rarely mentioned my father’s rank. After all, it was HIS rank not mine. This caused more than one argument with a so-called friend who felt they had the right to know my father’s rank so they could know whether they could be my friend.

This position of dealing with military ranks was endorsed by my parents. My mother had a saying that when my father came home, he left his rank at the door and was simply our father. And so it went as I grew up.

Over the years, I am sure there are people who you have felt intimidated by, either because of their title, position in society or some other factor. While I sometimes recognized these differences, rarely did they affect me. Why? Because my mother had a saying that I still can hear echoed in my head. If I would mention a concern about speaking to someone she would quickly reply, “Don’t worry, they all wipe their butts the same way.” Let’s just say it puts things quickly in perspective if you imagine everyone taking care of their restroom business the same way. In a succinct way she conveyed that we are all ultimately the same, human beings. No one is inherently better than another.

It always amazes me how many people are afraid to speak up for their position or belief because they are afraid they will make someone else uncomfortable or make themselves uncomfortable should there be a confrontation. As a result, people do nothing. They let other people make decisions that will affect their lives. Sometimes they don’t feel they are entitled to speak up while at other times they feel intimidated because of a person’s title or status in society.

After having our daughter I became very involved in legislative work. It involved much time and regular visits to both Congress and our State Capitol. On many occasions our daughter would accompany me, with her earliest legislative experience when she was less than 2 years old. One particular time stands out. I was scheduled to do a television interview and had to meet the crew at the capitol but because it was short notice, I had our daughter with me. I brought along a pack of her favorite animal crackers and a juice box as a treat and prayed that these treats would keep her occupied for several minutes while I did the interview.

As I set up our daughter in a secure area with her cookies and juice box, she watched my interview. While I did the interview, unbeknownst to me a Representative came over and sat next to our daughter. The Representative apparently struck up a conversation with our daughter. It turned out that while I was doing my interview our daughter, who was about five, told the Representative her opinion on certain legislative matters, which she had overheard me discuss.

The Representative was a bit taken back that she was being informed by a five year-old about what she should do legislatively but she did note that our daughter was quite pleasant and polite. While I never officially taught our daughter that “everyone wipes their butt the same way” she had learned that no one was above anyone else. Through my actions, she learned to speak up and have her voice heard, even if she was just five. She was not intimidated by the woman’s position and she has continued to voice her opinions.

So, the next time you contemplate whether to speak up or deal with someone that intimidates you, just close your eyes and imagine them going to the bathroom. After all, as my mother taught me, “They all wipe their butts the same way.” Then take a deep breath and calmly, clearly speak your mind.

What does an address book look like to you? If you are like pretty much anyone on earth you will say it includes lines, name, address, email, and home, cell and work phone numbers. The question is how realistic is that for a young child?

Think about it. If your child can not read, how helpful will an adult address book be? When our daughter was about three she liked to draw pictures to mail to friends and family. She enjoyed doing this because she quickly learned that she would often get mail back from whomever she sent letters to.

One challenge was that she did not know how to spell everyone’s name. So, I came up with a photo address book. My husband and daughter created the photo address book. They took pictures we had of everyone and cut out their face. Then we put their name under their picture. (Digital pictures are very easy to use.) Each page had about 15 to 20 pictures on them. Afterwards, we put the pages in a 3-ring binder

This worked very well and gave her independence. She enjoyed pulling out her photo address book, creating her picture and addressing it to the appropriate party.

This photo address book would also work if you wanted to include the person’s address below, particularly when they are learning to write and address envelopes. The only thing that limits your ability to homeschool is your imagination. With some modification, which is often easier to implement in your home than in a school, many things can be easily presented. Children like copying their parents. What is more adult than their own address book?

Alright, if you have ever homeschooled officially a day in your life, you WILL get asked this question. So, how do you answer it?

“Of course not, our children have never met, talked or played with anyone else in the world in their entire life.” Can’t you just see the person looking at you with piercing eyes and their mouth gaping open?

When we first began homeschooling, I always felt like I had to explain what we did. After all, we were new and weren’t really looking for confrontation. So, in the early years, I used the “Let me explain” position about socialization. With this position I would dutifully explain how many opportunities our daughter had between religious, Girl Scout, neighborhood, friendships and homeschool support groups to socialize. As I would rattle them off, they would get quiet and politely say, “That’s nice.”

That used to infuriate me because I had just spent my time giving a great explanation. because it appeared they cared. I quickly learned they did not really care; they just felt uncomfortable with us homeschooling. Often they wanted to throw out that problem as the justification to why they did not homeschool.

As the years progressed and I became more confident my approach changed. Through many readings about socialization I came across what I will dub the “What is socialization?” position. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the author. In this position, my conversation with someone posing this question usually went something like this.

Clerk: “But aren’t you worried about your daughter getting socialization?” Lisa: “Well, that’s an interesting question, how do you define socialization?” Clerk: Dumbfounded expression Lisa: “I mean, do you define socialization as getting together with other kids of her same age or do you mean interacting and socializing with people of all ages?” Clerk: Still a dumbfounded expression Lisa: “Well, if you mean does get time together with kids her same age, then the answer is yes she gets to socialize with them. For me though, I don’t define socialization as getting together with kids her same age. To me socialization is learning how to interact with folks of all ages. After all, last I checked you don’t work only with 32 year-olds. Right?” Clerk: “No, I work with all ages.” Lisa: “Well, of course. No one is society works or lives with people all the same age. They are all different ages and we still consider that socializing. So, what is the purpose for socialization?” Clerk: “For them to learn from the other kids.” Lisa: “What are they supposed to learn from the other kids? The other kids can’t teach the subjects they don’t know to my daughter who also doesn’t know them. I mean honestly what can a 5 year-old teach another 5 year-old, how to have a tantrum when they don’t get what they want?” Clerk: Dumbfounded expression Lisa: “So, the answer to your initial question if you are using my definition is actually yes. My daughter interacts with just children of her age and she also interacts with people of all ages. From those older than her she learns something and from those younger than her she teaches them something and learns too. And she does this in a real environment not one artificially created.” Clerk: “Oh”

Recently, I heard a presentation by a father talking about socialization. In this “Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll” socialization position, their answer was no, their children did not socialize. When the person looked surprised the father pointed out that their child missed the opportunity to socialize with kids doing drugs, alcohol and having sex with many partners. Then the father pointed out that they were fine that their kids did not socialize like that.

The truth is that no matter how you answer most likely the person asking doesn’t care. In some cases they ask out of curiosity because there is the myth that homeschooled kids don’t get to socialize. On rare occasions the person asking is considering homeschooling and is trying to make a decision. More often then not, the person asking has probably thought about homeschooling at some point, never got all the answers, discounted homeschooling because they were unsure and decided to throw out the homeschooling option with the question.

As for me, I’m thinking about taking the position, “Of course not, our children have never met, talked or played with anyone else in the world in their entire life!” After all, why spend my time trying to open a closed mind.

Our daughter regularly spends time in creative play. One of the things she enjoys doing is running a pretend restaurant. She created a menu to hand out to her patrons. I offered that we could create menus on the computer if she wanted and she quickly took me up on the offer.

We worked together to design the menu, write the selections, prices and even included pictures. Afterwards, we laminated them using clear contact paper and cut them accordingly. She really enjoyed making them and still uses them in her pretend restaurant.

Recently, she decided to create a family breakfast menu. This time she figured out all of our breakfast options. She designed the cover with our family’s name and titled it “Breakfast Menu”. Then she listed all our drink options, food selections and options for how we wanted our food prepared. Yes, it is quite detailed and she developed it all on her own. We can even decide what number we want our toast heated to for crunchiness. Even condiment selections and spreads, such as butter, jelly or Nutella, were included.

Finally, she folded the menu in half so that there were several pages in a booklet form. She even bound the pages together with yarn. Now, every morning we can select from one of many options. Often times we can even place our orders with her. She runs a real breakfast restaurant in our kitchen and we get to be the lucky recipients of a delectable breakfast prepared just so.

What began as creative play developed into an exciting project, which she initiated. She utilized her design and creativity skills, spelling, penmanship, and writing skills as she described all of our selections. In running her restaurant she learned about maintaining the food stock and often reminds me when we are running low on breakfast items. She also has learned about time management as she sets out to prepare several items at once and finally she has learned about presentation. Breakfast has been delicious and we have never had soggy cereal or burnt toast. Hmmm, maybe that’s why my husband and I like our daughter’s restaurant so much!

What did you do with the box that you recently received at home? Ever wonder what happens to all the boxes at the stores and grocery stores? When was the last time you used a box? Was it for moving or storage? If you are like most adults, you overlook the measly cardboard box. After all, once it serves its purpose what use is it?

There are many uses for a box beyond moving, storage or shipping. A simple box can become an imaginary car, train, sled or ship. It can be used for a table or desk when flipped over. This can then be used for the purpose of an imaginary restaurant, dining room table, or grocery store counter. Larger boxes can be used for huts or tents. Most boxes just get crushed once they serve their purpose so why not ask for a box to bring home. If you are looking for a larger box, check appliance stores.

While the main learning experience will be the use of your child’s creativity and imagination, many other lessons can be incorporated. If your child is very young you could ask them to tell you a story using their box as a car, for example. You could record their story or transcribe it and help them create a book. Then you could read the story they wrote.

If the child is older you could ask them to write a story with a beginning such as: “One day, I sat in a box which magically became ….” Now, spelling, creativity, writing, and English can be incorporated. Another option might be to set up a grocery store using the box. Let the child practice selling items and making change with real money. This allows them to practice communication skills, math and entrepreneurship.

For older children you could invite them to decorate the box and collect cans for the homeless shelter or treats for the troops overseas. In these situations, they get to use many skills while learning the following: - Communication and persuasion skills can be developed while doing the collecting. - Math can be used for weighing and measuring so that packing can be done properly. - Geography can be used to locate the place to which the box will be shipped. - Current events as to what is going on in that part of the world and why the box is needed there. - Good citizenship can be learned by helping their fellow man. - If they drop off the box to a homeless shelter or food pantry, they can learn about how one can be in poverty, organizations that help individuals who are in poverty, whether it is the government’s responsibility to get people out of poverty, and other ways to help.

So, the next time you see a measly box bring it home for your kids. You will be amazed at the fun and learning that can take place for less than a $1.00.

If you have others ideas of how a box can be used be sure to click on comments and share your ideas!

A couple years ago we moved into a different house. With a fenced in yard, quieter neighborhood, better section of town and more space, we were thrilled. The first year here we made a serious effort to get to know our neighbors. We even had a cookout and invited them all over.

This spring though, our patience began to wear thin with some of the neighborhood kids. Several of the boys decided to harass our daughter while she played in our backyard. The harassment included provoking and inappropriate language and exposing their chests while describing themselves as “sexy” to our daughter. Might I say, they are thirteen and our daughter is merely eight.

While my husband and I confronted the boys and told them to leave our daughter alone, their harassment continued. Part of the challenge was that she was concerned with hurting their feelings to which we repeatedly pointed out that they didn’t care about her feelings. Another part of the challenge was they would always run whenever my husband or I would come out. So, we decided that we needed to assist her in figuring out how to handle the situation.

As a woman, my suggestion was to ignore them. Let’s face it sometimes members of the opposite sex can be inappropriate and rude. Arguing with them will not teach them but rather it will egg them on to continue. While ignoring them takes away the pleasure for them of knowing they were annoying. My husband explained how boys generally think and agreed that ignoring them would be the best approach.

Then it occurred to me, this would be a great opportunity for her to learn from others. So, we gave her an assignment. She was to think of five women whose opinion she valued and ask them the following questions. 1. Had you ever been harassed by boys when you were a girl? 2. How did you handle it when they would tease or harass you? 3. Have you ever been harassed by a man as a woman?

She set out over the next weeks to discover the answers. Each time a brief explanation was given about the situation and she asked the women if they minded answering a few questions. In every situation, the women (all either friends or family) were pleased to be consulted.

While the answers varied the most common response given was to just walk away, ignore them and get your parent if it continued. One suggested that perhaps our daughter should tell the boys that if the boys were so “sexy” then they wouldn’t be picking on her because they would have a girlfriend. Another explained that she would slam the boy harassing her against a locker when she was in school! The most learning occurred during each discussion.

One good friend is the only female in her house. As she took time for our daughter her husband and son looked at her differently during the discussion as they realized that she was a woman not just one of the guys. Our daughter learned different ways of handling these boys. She realized this would be a situation she may confront at different times in her life and it was good to stand up for herself. She sought different opinions and thoughtfully analyzed each response. She learned that it is good to consult different people who may have expertise in an area and learned different communication skills.

In the end, after another incident which my husband was not present for, I made it clear to the boys that they were not welcome to step foot on our property again or to speak to our daughter. I also made it clear that should they violate either of those rules, the next call would be to the police and an officer would be speaking with them and their parents. From this, our daughter learned that it is ok for a woman to be firm and contact the police if necessary. Needless to say, it was a quieter summer. Thank goodness!

Unlike previous generations, most of us were not raised to be seen but not heard. Yet many of us assume the belief that as parents our beliefs and authority can not be questioned. Now I am not advising that children should be allowed to question everything we recommend or require as parents, otherwise everything would result in philosophical discussion.

What I am talking about is at a deeper level. Are you a political party affiliation because your parents were? Are you a particular religion because your parents were? Are you concerned that if you changed political parties or religions you would be disowned? If so, who are you really helping?

Growing up I was never held back when learning opportunities presented themselves. In particular, I attended a Jewish confirmation, a Morman play, Ukrainian Orthodox masses, Russian Orthodox masses, a Baptist marriage, and I dated a guy that was Buddhist who prayed at his shrine daily. As a practicing Catholic, these experiences allowed me to examine my beliefs, ask questions with no pressure to believe one way or another and in the end, each experience cemented my personal beliefs.

Recently, I was reminded of an incident that seriously affected me. After high school, I moved north to go to college and my family of origin was stationed overseas. Soon after, one of my best friends came to visit and we went to my church. As we sat in the back of the church, about half way through the mass my friend jumped up and ran out of the church crying. As my boyfriend (now husband) and I looked at each other surprised we quickly left to check on my friend. She shared that she felt uncomfortable in my church and that it was raising many questions for her.

I realized that day how fortunate I had been to have parents that did not force their beliefs onto me but rather presented opportunities for me to experience different religions while being consistently raised in one. While I will admit, I never learned enough about each religion to have a full understanding of that religion, it did give me a concrete experience for me to reflect on as I studied different religions in school and personally.

Recently, our daughter and I were driving in the car and listening to political talk radio when my daughter asked a thought-provoking question, “Mom, would you still love me if I do not believe the same things you do?” My answer was, “Yes, as long as you think about your beliefs, ask questions, get information, and make an educated decision. And make sure you don’t pick the opposite of me ‘just because’.” I further explained, “Sometimes people do the opposite of someone ‘just because’ they feel like it, perhaps they want to experiment or just be different. The problem with doing the opposite ‘just because’ is that there is no logical rational. With no logical rational, people are just acting on emotion and emotion can get you in trouble.”

We continued the discussion and I assured her that no matter what she does or decides to believe in, I will always love her as long as she really examines her conscious. I wanted to free her from any expectations. I see so many adults living their lives to fulfill their parents’ expectations and often neither the parents of the adults nor the adults are happy. While it is the adults’ ultimate responsibility to live their lives as they believe they should, the truth is that if parents let go of their expectations children could flourish much quicker.

As I thought about my experiences, my friend and my daughter it occurred to me that as parents we are challenged. We want our kids to do the best, but what is the “right” way to be? If we always tell our children what to believe, what they will do when they grow up, what they should feel and how to be as humans are we really helping them?

The truth, as I see it, is that we are here to guide our children. Encourage them to explore. Learn to ask questions and where to seek answers. Analyze the answers and ultimately make an educated decision. The truth is that teaching critical thinking can be one of the greatest gifts we give our children. So, the next time you are on the verge of telling your child what they should think for every part of their life, remember you aren’t helping them think at all. You are just creating a robot and over time robots break down, often at the most inopportune time.

Critical thinking is key to learning. It encompasses very important subjects such as religion but also what to do when a friend tries to pressure them. It is what allowed scientists to recently recognize that Pluto is not a planet. Critical thinking allows one to discern marketing claims in a television commercial from the truth. It allows one to question just how does a scientist know how old a dinosaur really is or what they really looked like? In short, critical thinking allows them to think for themselves.

Homeschooling is the perfect avenue for encouraging critical thinking. Thought provoking conversations and analysis can ensue over dinner or in the car. As a parent, you have the opportunity to share your position. And with no legal restrictions, as in public schools, you can assist your child in completing a full analysis of all sides of an issue. In addition, you can include expert opinions from both sides of an issue by utilizing different media including books, magazines, Internet, radio and television. With homeschooling you can even include resources such as the bible or other religious text where warranted, which is often forbidden in public schools.

Critical thinking is as important as any single subject for without critical thinking no subject can be truly understood and no child can really grow up to be the best they can be. So, don’t be afraid to have your beliefs questioned, your child is not saying you are a bad parent but rather they are trying to better understand the world they live in. Calmly answering their questions and guiding them through the critical thinking process helps them to learn to truly analyze issues that they will face in their life. Besides wouldn’t you rather your child ask you the questions instead of someone who doesn’t know your child very well or care?

Some kids are friendly. Some are bullies. And then some can be so concerned about others feelings that it can become almost a fault. Our daughter falls into the third category but is working on getting out of it with our help.

Our daughter knows that it is very important to speak up in life. After all if you want to accomplish something, move forward, be taken seriously, have your opinions heard, or just not get walked all over you have to speak up. I learned this very important lesson from my mother. She grew up to be seen and not heard and decided early on that I would be encouraged and allowed to speak up. As a result, I was encouraged to speak up and over time learned this lesson well, sometimes to my parent’s dismay.

While it occasionally caused problems at home with me always having an opinion, it came in handy when I was dating or when I had a problem with a store. Part of learning to speak up is knowing what you believe in. At a most basic level it is what your principles are.

Principles are defined as a basic truth, a rule or standard of personal conduct or a moral or ethical standard. Having principles is a good thing. Otherwise one can fall to the winds of peer pressure. One of my Mom’s sayings when she wanted to make this point usually went something like, “Just because Jenny jumped in the lake, would you do it to?”

As parents we try to impart certain principles, such as no stealing, respecting family, no smoking, no bullying, sharing, dressing modestly, etc. We hope that our children embrace these principles so that when we are not present they will not follow “Jenny into the lake” and get into trouble.

Our daughter is very kind hearted and as a result, we have worked to teach her that being kind does not mean not listening to her intuition or allowing herself to get walked all over or pushed around. This has been a serious mission for me, particularly, because I often see women who are so afraid to speak up they won’t even ask for directions to a bathroom in a store just because they don’t want to bother someone.

While I don’t believe one needs to be a bully or pushy to convey their point, I do think that everyone has the right to respect. As such, one has the right to speak up. So, when a child in our daughter’s martial arts class took an intentional kick below the belt to hurt our daughter, I insisted she speak up even though she was afraid the other kid would get in trouble. In the end, the other child was just watched more closely and our daughter learned she must speak up.

Recently, when a conflict arose with one of her friends she felt she could not tell her friend what she thought otherwise it would hurt her friend’s feelings. And so, we taught our daughter what we quickly and brilliantly dubbed the “Principle Lesson”.

The “Principle Lesson” begins with the premise that one has principles that they live by. One such principle might be no stealing. Using this principle imagine one day you are out with your friends and they tell you they are going to steal something from the store. You do nothing about it. You do not act on your principles. The friend steals some items, gets into the car with you, you drive off and the police shortly thereafter pull you over. While you would also be held legally responsible because you knew prior to the criminal act, you would have also violated your principle.

The truth is, as we explained to our daughter during an outdoor homeschooling moment on the patio, if you follow your principles you most likely will not get into trouble. If you don’t know what your principles are you will cave in to peer pressure. (Yes, homeschoolers have peer pressure also, just not as severely.) If you don’t know what your principles are you will fall for anything. We reminded her that not standing up for her principles only hurts her. Then we explained she must decide now, before she gets into an awkward or dangerous situations, what her principles are so that she will be able to act on them quickly and not have to think.

Otherwise, as my Mom taught me you might not only get soaking wet following Jenny into the lake but you might end up in some real trouble that could be life changing, like following Jenny to jail.

Alright, I have to admit I really enjoy geography! It is amazing to go to different countries, witness their way of life, meet people and taste the country’s cuisine. Did I mention it is great trying the food??? Growing up I had some amazing opportunities since my Dad was in the military. Not many folks can say they saw the Berlin wall before and after it came down, unless you lived in Berlin or traveled a ton. It was truly amazing to witness the destruction of the Berlin wall.

Unfortunately, traveling for many is not that easy. Our family really enjoys the Amazing Race television show. Their travels throughout the world are a unique way to introduce geography without even leaving your house. As Amazing Race became a form of entertainment for our family, I decided I needed to make it educational. Of course, there were many educational angles I could have seized upon. There were the relationship dynamics, the contestants ability to listen to each other, follow directions, and figure out a way to function in a foreign country but the one I thought was superb was geography.

So, when we watch Amazing Race we use TiVo. (If you don’t have TiVo, a VCR tape works just as well.) We regularly pause the show, pull out the globe and identify where the contestants are going. We try to figure out what is special about that country, either politically, geographically, socially, historically, and so on.

As we progress through the show we also fast forward through the commercials. If our daughter does not understand what is going on or why the spot was selected we discuss the reason for that destination. There have been times that I was at the exact location that they are filming from and on those occasions, I can’t help but pull out tourism books which inevitably lead to a longer discussion. In the end, in one hour we get no commercials and a geography lesson. Now, if I could only figure out a way for food samples from the country they are visiting to be delivered to our door, we could have a five senses experience! Hmmm. I’m going to have to work on that one.

What began last Thanksgiving weekend as a simple trip to the pet store to get some treats for our two dogs, Rocky and Julius, became a life lesson in the art of persuasion. Let’s face it every aspect of our life is affected by our ability to persuade. When I was on debate team this was an intricate part of our training.

Think about it. You want to see one movie and your spouse wants to see another. How well can you persuade your spouse to watch your movie selection? What about your boss? Maybe you have a big project that needs to get done but you believe it should be one way and your boss thinks it should be done differently. How well can you persuade your boss to see and act on your position? The reality is if you have mastered the art of persuasion, you will also be able to increase your ability to negotiate.

Well children (and Moms, I must admit) practice persuasion, even at home. This particular weekend, my daughter and I decided we would window shop while we were on vacation. En route to the downtown area we stopped at a pet store to get something for our dogs. At most pet stores there are the animal aisles of food, treats and supplies. Besides the fish or rabbits at different times of year, rarely are other animals available for sale unless it is a mall pet store. Hence my selection of this pet store. When we walked in to the pet store we were surprised to see dogs available for sale.

Among the many breeds that were available for sale, there were some Pomeranians. If you aren’t familiar with this dog they usually don’t get any bigger than about 10 lbs., they have a lot of fur, and they always cock their head from one side to another. We had never seen a Pomeranian and my daughter and I were quickly taken with their size, friendly personality and general cuteness. Now I have to admit that we are fans of mutts, as our other two dogs are mutts, but these Pomeranians quickly stole our heart.

As I tried desperately to regain control of the situation, I set out in search of the treats that we initially had come for and my daughter followed in tow. While our daughter has been taught that no means no and badgering will not work, in this case she decided to practice her persuasive abilities immediately.

“Mom, can we get the Pomeranian?” “No, your father would never go for that after us bringing home Julius.” “Mom, can we call Dad and ask him?” “No, your father and I agreed we will not get anymore dogs. Two is more than enough.” “Mom, can’t you just call Dad and ask him?” “No, I don’t have the phone.” “Can we go get it?” she asked.

And so the conversation continued. Finally, out of desperation I told her I would call my husband. I foolishly decided that if I told my husband we got the dog and then our daughter heard his response then she would see why we could not get the dog.

Instead, my husband while surprised stayed serenely calm and simply responded with, “Uh-uh, no you didn’t?”. When we got home he asked where the dog was. At that point, I had to admit that I had tried to trick him. Immediately, our daughter then began trying to persuade my husband. (Now, I do have to admit that I did extol the virtues of this tiny Pomeranian puppy and well, I did ask if we could get the puppy too.)

The next day, my husband agreed to stop and look at the dogs on our way to lunch. The persuasive tactics had worked so effectively that he agreed we could get a Pomeranian if he could get a Sheltie. Now, my head was spinning. Could it be we came on vacation with two dogs and we were going to leave with four? Had we totally lost our mind?

In the end, we learned the Sheltie was promised to another family. As for us, we came home with a sable Pomeranian puppy who we named Teddy. He looks like a teddy bear and in his lineage (yes, he has a family tree) the “Grand Sire” was named Weeks Wild Teddy Bear. So, in honor of President Theodore Roosevelt, he was nicknamed Teddy.

The experience included learning about family lineage, a new breed of dog, how to care for a puppy, and the differences between purebreds and mutts. But the biggest lesson learned that weekend was just how effective the art of persuasion can be used.

As for this Thanksgiving, I think we’ll bring the dog treats from home!